an excerpt

from the book

I never set out to purposely deconstruct my faith. i certainly have never been out to destroy anyone else’s faith. Over time, over many experiences, the faith I once knew started falling apart. It was not all at once with some kind of grand declaration. It began to happen much like the tide comes in at the beach. All day you can work in the sand, building an intricate and elaborately beautiful castle. You can play in it, take selfies around it, and even invite others to join in and collaborate on the construction of it. But the evening always comes. The sun sets, and with it, the water rises. The water first comes to the edge, seeping in only around the lower, easy to reach areas. But over time, the water crashes against the more established structures. The ocean tide pours in through the rooms and barriers, across the decor and even to the most fortified towers. Nightfall brings with it even more force. Soon the sea has replaced any evidence of that which was built. By morning, yesterday’s work is gone. The beach is made new again.

We could stop there. 

And this story would take a different turn. 

It would be a story of destruction. 

A story where no faith remains. 

A cleared beach and a cleared faith.

And yet, this is not my story . . .
- an excerpt from page 12


I am offering my first (self)published endeavor . . .

and this long journey must include a lot of THANK YOU'S to many people in my life. I include this in the Acknowledgements section, but I want to make sure and leave it here for you as well. So many more will go unnamed, but not forgotten.


To Leslie • You are my best friend and the love of my life. You have inspired me to become the person, husband, father, pastor, teacher, designer, artist, and whatever I may venture into next. Your encouraging words and strength have been like breadcrumbs that lead me out of all the self-doubt, depression, and aimless wandering—I have been able to finish by your great love . . . and I thank God for you.
To Matthew & Meredith • You have brought fullness to my life in ways I am unable to fully express. I love you kiddos. In so many ways this work I have been doing is for you—for your generation. I pray that what we are working out within our community of faith, our household of faith, will be your inspiration to always be in process, working out what it is to love God, love others, and love yourselves. It is an endless pursuit, but so very worth it. Thank you for the patience you have shown me through all the times I have had my headphones on, writing away—I hope you know that I was always torn between what I needed to get done and spending time with you. Thank you for the cheerleading you have given me through the process. You two have been such an encouragement to keep this work going to the finish.
To my parents Mom and Dad, wow—you have always been so incredibly supportive, even if you weren’t so sure about the direction I was headed. This book and my education has been an outflow of the foundation of love you continue to forge in my life. Jeanie, you put up with so much from me—thank you, always, for still coming around and dropping random crap at our door. I love you three, and am thankful to be your son (and son-in-law).
To the earliest of adopters • At the heart of our Convergence Community is not a single personality. To the earliest of  adopters - Gary & Kathryn Caplinger and Daran & Rachelle Freund, so many of following words have come about through your deeply committed involvement and investment in this endeavor. I hope and pray you see your influence throughout this book. Neither this book, nor Convergence, could possibly exist without the dreams, presence, and passion you have shared for it.
To Convergence Community • I wish I could name each of you who have made Convergence what it is today.  Our shared life has been both the story and proving ground I have returned to time and again to work out a deconstructing faith. Our conversations, our journey, our failures, and our successes have found a presence in this writing. My life with Christ would never have been as whole without our shared life. Thank you for the patience you have shown me—and the story you have helped shape. I pray our shared story might just be the thing someone needs to continue on in an ever evolving faith.
To the artists, storytellers, thinkers, and poets • Thank you first for the work you have (or are) putting out in the world. It matters. Keep it up! Thank you for allowing me to bind your work within the pages of my own. You have been an encouragement to me along the way. Andrea Caplinger, thank you for sharing part of your story to really shed light on this deconstruction process and what it can mean for all of us. To Dr. Len Sweet, your mind-expanding, heart-deepening guidance during this process has been one of the most encouraging times in my life. I continue to carry your wisdom, the readings, and the rituals into my life and community. To Dr. Deborah Loyd, your constant encouragement and excitement for my project was exactly what I needed to see the process through. Cohort SFS12, I am forever grateful for the sounding board you provided with pushback, grace, and love provides new hope for the church in the present day.  And to Brandi Koskie, your editing wizardry and matter-of-fact perspective was such a gift in wrapping up my writing. 
- Scott Scrivner